WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES?

Every month I eagerly await the arrival of my favorite magazine, THE SUN. It is the only magazine I subscribe to and the only magazine I read. The last page of the magazine is titled SUNBEAMS and is compiled of quotations; some of which I enjoy and agree with and some of which I do not enjoy and do not agree with. This month I did not like this quotation but it has become food for thought.

Here is the quotation from a character named EVIL, in the movie TIME BANDITS.

"God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time. Forty three species of parrots! Nipples for men!"

That quote ticked me off even if it was from a movie. Who is to question how God spends his time, anyway? I am 83 years old and it never entered my mind to wonder why I have nipples until someone gave me a book titled "Why Do Men Have Nipples?" I think that it was my grandson, Jeremy, but I am not sure about that.

Anyway the book is written by Billy Goldberg. M.D. and Mark Leyner; a writer. They were thrown together as consultants on a medical TV show. Here is what they came up with.

WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES?

Since our editor thought this question made the best title for this book, we racked our brains to come up with a hilarious, witty, and informative answer to the question. Our attempts proved futile, so, in order to finish this book so another brilliant title wouldn't go to waste, we went for the boring, straight scientific response. Sorry. 

We are mammals and blessed with body hair, three middle ear bones, and the ability to nourish our young with milk that females produce in modified sweat glands called mammary glands. Although females have the mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. During the development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in for a male embryo. The embryo then begins to develop all of its male characteristics. Men are thus left with nipples and also with some breast tissue. Men can even get breast cancer and there are some medical conditions that can cause male breasts to enlarge. Abnormal enlargement of the breasts in a male can be caused by using anabolic steroids. So, if Barry Bonds ends up coming to the old-timers game with a pair of sagging 44DD man boobs, then I think we will finally have our answer to the steroid controversy.

THE END

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Okay, so if this does not answer all our questions like: "Couldn't God have erased the nipples after the male embryo took over? Well, of course he could have but I am not going to question God's reasoning. Besides, after 83 years I think my chest would look naked without nipples.

Another aside.....I will never forget a wonderful vice president at APS where I worked for 41 years who died of breast cancer before he had a chance to retire. So it does happen!