So here we are, Juanita and I, in our darkened room at the Seawall Motel in Pismo Beach, California after a day of playing on the beach; in and out of the ocean; traipsing up and down the streets of this former Portuguese fishing village of many years ago. This place is our favorite haunt of many, many years. Out of the darkness I heard my name being called by Juanita, "Billy". I responded and she said, "I just discovered a lump in my left breast. Give me your hand and see if you feel it." She took my hand and placed it in the suspected spot. Yes, there was something there that could be described as a lump. I asked her if there was any soreness or pain there when I put pressure on the spot with my finger and she replied, "Yes". I asked her if she wanted to see a doctor there or go home tomorrow and see our family doctor in Phoenix and let him recommend a specialist if he deemed that a necessity. She said, "No, we are near the end of our two week vacation so let's just stay those days and then go home." So that is what we did although it rather put a damper on those remaining few days. Any question of breast cancer was dramatically important to us because Juanita's mom, Pearl; and Juanita's sister, Radyne, and their aunt Lily had all died of breast cancer. So it was really leering as and unveiled threat in the darkness of fear A few days later for the first time in my life I was glad to leave the balmy air and the beauty of that placid beach for the searing and burning hell of our Phoenix summer!

Back home our family doctor recommended a specialist by the name of Dr. Adrian. After all the necessary tests were conducted the surgery was performed. The malignant enemy was difficult to find but was finally excised from near the nipple where it was hiding. Kim and Bryan and their two little girls, Jamie and Cassie came from Sacramento, CA to see Juanita while she was hospitalized. And if my memory doesn't fail me our grandson, Jeremy, was born while Juanita was hospitalized. This all had to be in April, 1977. After all straightened out somewhat and we were home alone and I returned back to work, I would get up at 5AM each morning and get in the shower and turn the water on full force to drown out my fearful crying. I didn't want Juanita to know how scared I was. Juanita was a real trooper with her left chest covered in a huge bandage,.I forgot to mention that most if not all the lymph nodes in the left armpit had to be removed since the cancer had metastasized to most of the lymph nodes there.

Then, of course she had to be assigned to an oncologist and a radiation therapist. The oncologist was a wonderful little man who explained whatever he knew about chemotherapy. He was a little Jewish man named Paul Wassermann and from the beginning I think there was a love affair between him and us. Juanita's first and only experience with taking the chemo pills resulted with her head in the toilet for 5 hours vomiting from 7AM until noon. She said, "no more, I'll take my chances with the cancer!" Dr. Wassermann said to us, "Well, there is no cure for cancer and the only thing we know about this medication you are taking is that at one time it cured ONE case of cancer in Italy." I told him that he gave us such a feeling of well being that we wanted to continue seeing him on a regular basis because just having him talk to us gave us such a feeling of well-being.......and that continued for quite some time.

Then the next out of this world was our relationship with the Linear Accelerator. This was the monster situated in the basement of the medical building where we went. I am sorry to say that I felt like we were in the laboratory where Frankenstein was created. The radiologist, while being a wonderful man had the whole one side of his neck missing because of throat cancer and radical surgery. And the people who came into the waiting room to wait for their treatment were more than scary; some so scary that I had to turn my head away and not look at them. What people will go through to continue living. I guess continued life is priceless, regardless.

About this time Juanita had a sister-in-law who was determined to get her on some remedies quite a far piece from practiced medicine i.e. apricot kernels. It was known as vitamin B-17 and had a name which escapes my memory right now and Juanita ate those. Then the famous coffee enemas. Juanita didn't even drink coffee and now she was absorbing it through her anus. When we told the radiologist he asked "Instant or perked?" Whether all these things helped or not .....who knows.....but Juanita did not die of cancer. She lived for 20 more years dying in 1997 and the doctors felt she died from the effects of the radiation therapy. She developed heart trouble and her heart doctor told me that she was a classic example of radiation therapy which was administered on her left chest over her heart. I am inclined to agree with him.

As a sidelight to the seriousness of cancer there can be a humorous side too. And if you didn't see that side once in awhile I doubt you could make it through......for instance.......

Juanita bought a prosthesis to wear on her left chest which she promptly christened HER BOOB. One day she called me at work and wanted to know if I had seen her Boob? I said, "My God, do you really think I bring it to work with me?" and she said "No" but I can't find it." I said, "You better find it. I just paid $97 for that thing." A little later my office phone rang and she said, "I noticed a lump under the covers after I made up the bed and there it was." Another time we were swimming in the ocean at Pismo Beach and the Boob floated out of her swim suit on it's way to China and Juanita commanded her little poodle Eddie to go after it and bring it back and the little rascal did just that!!! Then the time our son-in-law, Bryan came over one evening and Juanita was telling him about the garden she put in that day in the back yard and how hard she worked doing it. He went out to look and came back laughing and said, "I guess you really did work hard out there Mom" and he handed her her Boob,telling her "I found this out there in the fork of a tree!" She went on to explain that every time she bent over to hoe the ground her Boob fell out of her blouse and she finally took it out of her blouse and placed it in the fork of the tree and then forgot it.

Well, this is the end of this subject which in reality is the forerunner of writing about the Susan G. Komen 3 Day 60 mile walk for breast cancer which will be coming up in a few months.